Is Zack a Dad? NO

status.iszacka.dad

Zack Status

Live operational status of Zack's migration to dadhood, with a 90-day uptime history and a full incident log, as is industry standard for this sort of thing.

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Major outage: Zack is not a dad

Engineers are aware. A resolution is expected around the due date, give or take a fortnight.

Components

  • Dad Service Major outage

    Zack is not a dad. Engineers (Jess and Zack) are aware and working on it.

  • Nappy Supply Operational

    Stockpiled. Several hundred units on standby, by conservative estimates not enough.

  • Sleep Operational

    Eight hours a night, taken entirely for granted.

  • Patience Operational

    No due date on file, so nothing to be impatient about. Yet.

  • Text Message Response Time Operational

    Replies are instant and, frankly, a bit too available.

  • Dad Jokes Under maintenance

    Pre-release builds only. Puns are in closed beta.

  • Hot Drinks Operational

    Tea is drunk at the correct temperature.

  • Notification Pipeline Operational

    Email, push, webhooks, feeds, DNS and the Dad Ledger are standing by to over-share.

Uptime, last 90 days

Dad Service0.00% dad
Sleep100.00% slept
Patience100.00% patient
Nappy Supply100.00% stocked

Each bar is one day (UK time), coloured by status at the end of that day. Grey bars predate this website, a dark age about which little is known.

Scheduled maintenance

Dad deployment, date to be confirmed. The change advisory board has yet to publish a due date.

Seven-day dad forecast

  • Today ? Fog: no due date on file
  • Sun 8 Nov ? Fog: no due date on file
  • Mon 9 Nov ? Fog: no due date on file
  • Tue 10 Nov ? Fog: no due date on file
  • Wed 11 Nov ? Fog: no due date on file
  • Thu 12 Nov ? Fog: no due date on file
  • Fri 13 Nov ? Fog: no due date on file

Chance of becoming a dad on each day, given it hasn't happened yet. Approximate model: birth timing is roughly normal around a day after the due date, with a standard deviation of about nine days, and induction by 42 weeks. Not medical advice; barely even maths.

Incident history

Zack is not a dad Investigating

  1. Investigating: Zack is not a dad. We are aware that Zack is not a dad. Engineers (Jess and Zack) are working on it. Expect a long investigation.

Ongoing for 17 minutes.

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